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Friday, July 02, 2004

What if Harry Potter were Singaporean?

1. Qualifies as ‘foreign talent’ immediately. (Some more, his talent is damn foreign, one.)

2. Must buy COE for broom.

3. Also, after parking broom, must remember to put coupon.

4. Hogwarts becomes part of Through Train Programme.

5. Hogwarts to be renamed ‘Magicopolis’.

6. For mother tongue, put down ‘‘Parseltongue’.

7. In potions class, learn that potions can be either ‘heaty’ or ‘cooling’.

8. Will have to deal with being labelled a “mugger” in addition to a “muggle”.

9. Have fun along East Coast Parkway, shouting ‘Lumos!’ and disturbing the lovers in the bushes.

10. SingTel to provide owl-delivered messages as option in their mobile plans.

11. Hagrid kena put on the Trim And Fit programme.

12. After graduating from Hogwarts, kena do NS.

13. People will keep calling Hermione “Her-myon”.

14. The Dursleys will make him stay in the maid’s room instead of under the stairs. (The maid will stay under the stairs.)

15. Prisoner of Changi.

16. Encouraged to faster marry Hermione and have three kids before thirty.

17. Encouraged by Gahmen to become not just a “wizard” but a “wizapreneur”.

18. Gahmen declares it aims to make it to the Quidditch World Cup by 2010.

19. Meanwhile, Singapore Pools starts accepting bets for Quidditch.

20. Because of lightning-shaped scar on forehead, asked to join Youth Wing of certain political party.

21. Formation of Order of the Phoenix kena rejected by Registrar of Societies.

22. Cannot refer to dark overlords by actual name. (No difference there.)

23. Harry. Good name.


At 11:04 AM, Blogger Vee Bee said...

hello! no updates?? why?


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